Clever students - don’t you hate them? The papers have once again been full of pictures of A-level students grinning, leaping, embracing and generally parading their smugness on hearing of their exam passes. It was of course another record year. Spare a thought for the admittedly diminishing minority who flunk their exams? For a start - what do the failure grades “U” and “N” actually stand for? Suggestions please using the form below. And while you’re at it, tell us any alternative letters that could be used to indicate a fail and make the whole experience a tad more palatable the poor pupils - DS perhaps for “deferred success”.
Your suggestions:
‘U’ stands for unpossible, strangely enough the grade I got for my English exam.
martin, uk
U - Unlikely to get a job
N - Never get a job
A more preferable version would be:
S - sufficiently inaccurate
G - greatly inaccurate
Robin, Edinburgh
I guess ‘U’ stands for Travel insurance usa while ‘N’ presumably means ‘Nice try’. The obvious addition to the marking scheme would be an ‘M’ for ‘Misunderstood’. Ian, Bristol
A few years ago I got an ‘N’ in Latin. I think it stood for ‘non possum scriptere lingua morte’ Kelcey Swain, UK
U = Universally unaccepted truth expounded
N = Neat handwriting nicely set out.
Maggie, uk
PASS - Poor Attempt by Stupid Student Tony , UK
U and N are included as grades purely so that a student of mixed ability taking 5 A levels can achieve the anagramatic result D.U.N.C.E Ricky, London
MNY - Maybe Next Year
NC - No chance
CAUTION - Complete and utter tosh ill-judged nonsense Katy, UK
A = Academic,
B = Best of rest
C = C u at night school
D = Dole queue
E = E’s and Wiz
F = Failed to sit exam
U = University of life for this one
N = Not a clue
R = Reality tv beckons Nick, England
U - Unutterable
N - Negotiable *wink*
J Bright, London UK
Fail indicator letters : MSS - translates as Mental Sabbatical Syndrome. Derek Behan, Blackburn,Lancs
DYWFWT = Do You Want Fries With That?
Gerard Krupa, Coventry, UK
NLH - Needs Legible Handwriting, for those who wish to join the medical profession. ,
U: Useless
N: Nearly Useless Mark H, London
E- Home insurance online owner purchase that lovely euphemism for ‘did not get to grips with the question’. Basil Long, Notts, UK
5 A levels - grades SWIMS = Start Work In McDonalds Saturday David, UK
S - Social Life Matt, Notts, UK
“N” has to be for “Numpty” Cameron Smith, Leatherhead, UK
like “A*”, we should have a “pA” or even “pA*” - the p stands for “plagiarised” Dave Shannon, England
F (FUSP) = Failed (Future US President)
F (BSNC) = Failed (But Spelt Name Correctly) P (BFB) = Pass (Bright Future Beckons) P (BLTFTGO) = Pass (But Likely To Fail To Grasp Opportunities) dave godfrey, uk
T - Trisha was on Gary Savage, Burscough, Lancs
U - Unicorn a whimsical look at life that bears little resemblence to fact or reality.
N _ Narcoleptic A well rested or passed out participant whose brain has encountered more time immersed in parties and pints than lectures and learning.
A student of the pint myself. William Westfall, Texas
Link to this item
Return to top of Magazine Monitor
FAQs about the Caption Competition
Link to this item
Return to top of Magazine Monitor
Link to this item
Return to top of Magazine Monitor
Link to this item
Return to top of Magazine Monitor
Link to this item
Return to top of Magazine Monitor
new-found cricket-lovers have a nasty shock in store for them (ie cricket is actually quite dull). On Tuesday, Julia Manning confessed her love for the sun, even though she insists she’s not addicted to getting a suntan. And who can forget last week’s article in which photographer Timothy Soar gave his tips for taking good pictures of buildings?
It’s all been very jolly. Much as we might try, the Magazine team will never know as much as this fascinating community of readers. So we’re throwing the doors open. If you know a subject well, or have well-considered views on a particular topic which you think you should share with your fellow readers, write us a brief note about it. Don’t write a full article, just give us a few lines. Alternatively, give us an idea of your sphere of expertise.
Include your contact details (e-mail address and daytime phone number), and send it to us at the.magazine@bbc.co.uk. Please put “Write for the Magazine” in the subject line of your e-mail.
Link to this item
Return to top of Magazine Monitor
Rapturous German welcome for Pope, 18 August, in which it says: “The Pope arrives in his homeland Germany on his first major foreign trip.” Hmmm, something not quite right there - does this mean I can call my holiday to Yorkshire this year a foreign break? Spangle, Birmingham
Re iPod users hearing damage warning. I’m sure almost identical warnings of dire consequences were given shortly after the release of the personal-CD player in the 1990s and the Walkman back in the 1980s, and we’ll probably be hearing it again in a decade’s time. Jerry, London
Is it just me or does the Jesus in a hawthorn tree image look more like Barry Chuckle than Jesus? Stacey, Bournemouth, UK
Monitor Letters, Wednesday: “How does someone like Victoria Beckham who has never read a book end up writing one (Learning to Fly)?” Guardian Letters, Thursday: “Victoria Beckham has never read a book? Presumably, then, this includes her own autobiography…” As Private Eye might say, just fancy that.
Lucy Dunn, Nottingham
Rachel from Canada’s question about mouse mileage, (Monitor letters, Tuesday) she can get some idea of how far her mouse is going by visit this website at the University of British Columbia.
Join up and your mouse miles will be added to everyone else’s and the info used to power a table top train set. All that energy finally put to a good use. Wowzer. Nigel, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada BBC not responsible for external sites.
Imitation, they say, is the sincerest form of flattery. So what to make of a new column, launched in the Sun today, called Asbowatch? Jeremy Weaver, Surrey
Link to this item
Return to top of Magazine Monitor
Link to this item
Return to top of Magazine Monitor
Link to this item
Return to top of Magazine Monitor
Link to this item
Return to top of Magazine Monitor
Life savers or leg breakers, 17 August, which told of the dangers of mobility scooters. I have been a scooter user for 15 years now and would be very limited without it. I have seen many cases of incredibly stupid driving and have been involved with helping several folk learn to use their vehicle safely. As a result I wrote a HIGHWAY CODE for SCOOTER AND WHEELCHAIR USERS. This was launched at the House of Commons three years ago. I then raised with the then Minister for Transport various points about safety and good usage - including the following; compulsory assessment, compulsory insurance, registration of bad users, and regulation of manufacturing standards, such as lights, horn, visibles indication of whether you are going forwards or backwards, emergency hand brake, etc. I gave this and more to the minister - and he assured me he would look at it seriously - but that seems to have been that.
Miss Margaret Godfree Leicester
So P.Diddy has changed his name to Diddy (today’s quote of the day). I can already see the sketch now.
“P. Diddy’s changed his name again”
“To what?”
“Diddy”
“Did he? Did he what?”
“Not Diddy What - Diddy. One word. Five letters. Period.” Ed, Clacton, UK
A new Hollywood film will be released later this month titled ‘The Sisterhood of the travelling pants’. Is this the worst film title in history? John P, Cambridge, UK
Reading Asbowatch makes me strangely homesick. Dan, Auckland, NZ
For all those Monitor readers crowing over how far back they managed to get in three or four clicks whilst “cabbaging” the BBC News website: do the rules not stipulate five clicks, no more, no less? It’s like connecting 5 in Connect 4 and claiming you have somehow won the game, for goodness’ sake! The rigidness of click allowance is what makes the pursuit so skilful. For further clarification of the rules, I refer readers to the recently-published “Cabbagers and Googlers Year Book (2005)”. Matt, London, UK
On Monday the lions at a safari park chasing Smart cars was a silly season story in the Paper Monitor. By Tuesday it’s on the BBC News website. By Wednesday it’s in the Daily Telegraph and on News 24. Someone’s obviously not reading the Monitor! Becky, Bristol, UK
Re Can’t read, won’t read books, 17 August. How does someone like Victoria Beckham who has never read a book end up writing one (Learning to Fly)? Dave Godfrey, Swindon
Link to this item
Return to top of Magazine Monitor
Link to this item
Return to top of Magazine Monitor
Link to this item
Return to top of Magazine Monitor
Farewell blues, 15 August. As a child I used to read my parents’ Daily Mail and always read the Flook cartoon strip and grew up with him over the years. What a grand procession of characters, Flook himself, Rufus, Moses Maggot, Colonel & Mrs. American express travel insurance, Bodger and his fat sister Lucretia, oh I could go on! Sorry to hear that Trog is calling it a day and it is a shame that all good things come to an end, but what fun and laughter he created for us all to chuckle at for so many years. Helen Matthews-King, Southgate, North London
According to The 2012 marketing minefield, 16 August, some protected Olympic terms include: “Gold”, “Sponsor” and “Summer”. I predict a very hard year for jewellers, advertisers and travel agents. S Murray, Chester, UK
While reading Harold Evans’ article on intelligent design (, 16 August), I am reminded of Sir Isaac Newton, who once commented that the biggest victory of science over religion was when churches started installing lightning conductors. Stephen Buxton, Coventry, UK, thelbq.co.uk
If the average computer mouse travels 422 miles in its lifetime (Monday’s Daily Mini-Quiz), how do you know how many miles your mouse has travelled so far?
Rachel, Manitoba, Canada
To Owen, who asked who Julie Burchill was (Monitor letters, Monday). She is a journalist who has written for NME and The Guardian, and now has a column in The Times on Saturdays, in which she practices her subtle art of writing columns whose central points you quite often entirely agree with, but find yourself nevertheless hating her after having read them. Paul Taylor, Leeds, UK
Link to this item
Return to top of Magazine Monitor
Link to this item
Return to top of Magazine Monitor
Link to this item
Return to top of Magazine Monitor
Link to this item
Return to top of Magazine Monitor
Monitor letters, 12 August) this afternoon I have managed to get back to 29 December 1997 in just three clicks. (”Tsunami clue to ‘Atlantis’ find” as a starting point.) Is BBC News trying to make things a bit easier for us by including the ocassional old link or did I just get lucky? Couldn’t get back any further as all links from that page referred to 1999 Steve Parsons, Barton-Upon-Humber, England
I think the BBC not only endorses ‘Cabbaging’ but actively promotes it… clicking this week’s Faces of the Week over the weekend got you transported to an article first published in April this year. Lucien, London
Now that’s a neat trick. I click on Salman Rushdie’s face and he turns into Michael Winner. Tim, Bristol, UK
I am awfully sorry if I missed this most important piece of information, but would someone kindly tell me who the heck Julie Burchill is please (Monitor letters, Friday? I feel like I am missing out on something that looks as though it is becoming a serious thread. Perhaps one day her name will appear in the dictionary to describe a particular type of person. Owen, Herts UK
Last week’s Friday Objective reminded me of a proposal someone had written in blue paint on a footbridge over the M25. It’s been there for more than a decade, somewhere near the junction with the M1 - “Louise, I love you, marry me, Bob”. Does anyone know what happened to Louise and Bob? Did Louise ever notice? Michael Hall, Croydon, UK
Two out of your five silly season stories in the Paper Monitor today don’t exactly count. Surely Kate Moss’s sans-bra Tesco trip and Eva Longorio’s bikini are the sort of thing you can read in the papers at plenty of other times of the year? Vic, London
Link to this item
Return to top of Magazine Monitor
Terms & Conditions
Last week’s riddle was entitled Odd Numbers and asked you what sport should be added to the following group of words? “sexist sleevefish profusion delighted extraneous growth furtiveness nevertheless”
The answer is that each of the words contains an anagram of a number: extra(neo)us –> one
gr(owt)h –> two
nev(erthe)less –> three
p(rofu)sion –> four
slee(vefi)sh –> five
se(xis)t –> six
furti(venes)s –> seven
del(ighte)d –> eight
Therefore the next number would be nine and one sport containing an anagram of that is tennis. Who said riddle solving was an exact science?
Network problems are styming the Monitor’s efforts at naming a winner, but one will be added as soon as possible.
Link to this item
Return to top of Magazine Monitor
Link to this item
Return to top of Magazine Monitor
Magazine index now.
Link to this item
Return to top of Magazine Monitor
Last week’s Magazine Monitor
Read source on News - The Magazine Monitor
|